Today was day five (of six) of Advanced Cognitive Coaching, and I am struck by my own capacity to engage with such sustained attention to the highest level of nuance in a coaching conversation. It reminds me of writing, in the way each word matters, in the way a writer gets stronger through practice, reflection, and revision. Feedback offered and received. We spent the entire day on the second half of a problem resolving conversation. (Day four was the first half.) I am fascinated by the intentionality of it all, driven to sharpen my edges, curious to find just the right invitation, opening, insight. “You’re _______, because _________. You want __________, and you’re looking for a way to make that happen.” Paraphrase here, but don’t ask questions— the goal is to move the coachee forward, not to dwell in the problem. Distress to eustress. Now it’s question time: Surface those states of mind, deep structure— values, beliefs, mental models. Paraphrase. Pause. Listen, listen, listen (always). Repeat. How do I know when I’m done? With the conversation? Look for evidence of cognitive shift— body language gives it away every time. With this coach learning? Never.